Wedding details: Memories... To lost loved ones

I came up with the idea of having photographs of family members who are no longer with us. This meant they would be remembered and there on a day that represents love and togetherness.

It was an easy decision to come to, as during the wedding planning, my nan passed away in January after suffering for a long time with dementia. Then, another family member - my Nan's sister who we all call 'aunty' - passed away unexpectedly exactly 7 days later on my niece's first birthday.

What an awful month.

Both had been on our original guest list, although I was prepared my nan may not be well enough to make the journey. As my aunty's death was out of the blue, I could never bring myself to look at that list. I still haven't to this day. It didn't feel right crossing through her name,  'replacing' her with another guest. So I wrote the whole list out again from memory and invited two family members we previously didn't have room for.

This spurred me on to create a loose 'theme' of memories. I even have Memories tattooed on my wrist, which I've had for around 8 years now.

So, memories it is! 

A few people did get emotional when they saw their loved ones' pictures on our tables and I did hear conversations about the people who couldn't be there but were there in so many ways. A few people walked around to take a better look, and this struck up conversations. Our best man toasted "to lost loved ones" during his speech.

We created the centre pieces by scanning our chosen photographs, printing, then using photo frames from The Range shop.

We named the tables after our loved ones in the photos. This took a bit of thought and creativity - I kept coming up with ideas then going off the name and back to the drawing board!

A couple were easy and unwavering - my husband's dad was a keen golfer and we were having the photo of him on the top table. So Top Golf seemed like the obvious choice! As we had an odd amount of tables - we had one that had a mix of my husband's family and mine. So we called this one Dolly's Mixture as my dad's late mum was called Dorothy!

The other names didn't come as easily and I was constantly playing around with different ideas! My mum's late mum, whom we lost this year, was very talented at knitting - she made the bride and groom below so her table was My Knitting Nan. The others, my aunt who we also lost this January, was a dance star in her youth and ran a dancing school. So her table was Queen of Dance, my uncle's was Blue-Eyed Brian due to his piercing eyes in the vintage photo we found. Another of my uncles who, we assume, died in unknown circumstances, we used his name for this table.

My knitting nan created these

It was just a small way to show we think of those everyday, and they are there included in every aspect of our lives.

For, those no longer with us, will forever be in our hearts.

Table plan: photo frame and card from The Range

Table name: card from The Range. Stand borrowed from Leave It To Us Caterers

Wedding details: The Bouquet

Bridal Bouquet

I decided what I wanted almost as soon as I got the offer to have a bouquet.

We wanted to save as much money as we could - the aim was to not break the bank over one day.

So, not being very passionate about flowers, I wasn't too fussed about a bouquet. I always think flowers are very pretty, some smell delicious, but they die after a couple of weeks! We decided not to pay out for a bouquet of flowers.

I never did any research how much a florist charges, but having read online articles and real-life wedding experiences, I think they charge a lot. For something that's going to die soon and only be paraded around for one afternoon!

That was all decided until a friend asked me what I was doing for a bouquet. I replied with something along the lines of what I've written above. She said "ooo you've got to have a bouquet! Let me do you one as a gift!" It turns out, one of her family members is a florist! 

I immediately thought of my favourite flower - the gerbera. It's like a huge, colourful daisy and they come in such gorgeous, vibrant colours.

I chose orange because it's my favourite and it's very summery. 

According to eHow.co.uk "Brightly-coloured orange gerbera daisies represent feelings of warmth and creativity. Giving orange gerbera daisies to someone will convey a message of friendship and kindness. Because of the bold colour, orange gerbera daises also represent sunshine and happiness."

I also love roses as they're my dad's preferred choice of bloom. My friend suggested ivory roses as they would be classic against the bright gerberas. I also wanted one blue gerbera as my 'something blue' but it didn't look right.

According to origamidelight online 

"Ivory roses are the symbol of fidelity. Ivory roses are used to express the sincerity of ones love and a long lasting promise of commitment."

My friend also said we should have button holes. They came out large and couldn't fit in the lapel! So my husband wore his tucked into his pocket. 

My friend had intended an orange gerbera as the button hole but had some roses left over once the bouquet was made - so we had 2 of each!

My mum carried the orange gerbera and my mother in law attached hers to her dress. The ivory rose buttonhole went perfectly with the blue and ivory striped ties my groom and our best man had.

I'm glad I got to have such a beautiful bouquet.

Groom

Photo credit: Our future brother-in-law Steven

Dear Diary... Tourist Tuesday!

Dear Diary...

My husband and I have a few days off work together. I have wanted to see the ceramic poppies at the Tower of London for a while. We decided to head up to London on one of our days off. As we'd been up to Coventry (blog post Dear Diary... An extra hour well spent) on Sunday, we decided to have a chilled out day on Monday (Dear Diary... Monday Meze).

So, we went to London on Tuesday. What a brilliant day to choose to go... The sky was blue and the sun was shining. Who would have thought we would be eating lunch and dinner and drinking cocktails al fresco at the end of October in England?!

We don't live too far from London if we drive, as we live so close to the main road into London. We do try to avoid public transport usually as it's not easy to get anywhere from where we're living.

We were going to drive to my husband's mum's house and walk to her nearest station as it's more central.

My husband did a bit of research online and worked out a route for us to be able to travel from ours.

First stop: to see the poppies! It was soooo busy! They were a beautiful sight and it's very touching. 

888,246 poppies, each one represents one military death in World War One.

We then took a walk to St Katherine's Dock and had a really nice lunch outside in the sunshine near all the pretty boats

My delicious lunch

The husband's lunch

St. Katherine's Dock

To walk off our food, we went over Tower Bridge. We walked until we got to London Bridge station then we were on our way to the next part of our day... 

Tower Bridge

We visited the Natural History Museum at South Kensington, where we had fun reading all the facts and playing on the interactive games!

We made our way to where the lights are bright for dinner... Leicester Square!

Again, it was so busy everywhere - there were crowds and queues every way you turned.

We had dinner by candlelight

Cocktails

Halloumi Skewer

Taco starter

Mexican mains

Total tourists... Trip to M & M World

Happy Hallowe'en

M & M World

What an absolutely perfect, fun-filled day out with my built-in best friend AKA my husband. His iPhone informed us we'd done 17,162 steps (my poor feet!) all in my new Kurt Geiger boots! (Previous blog Rule of Shopping).

Space for one more?!

People who invite themselves, or others, to your wedding. Erm, if you're paying my love, feel free to rock up with your fascinator, swishy dress and a plus one I've never even been introduced to! You're not paying for my wedding? Wait for the invite and when it comes don't add random people on to it!

I see so many people on social media make comments like "congratulations on your engagement I'll get my hat now" or "congratulations, I'll be so-and-so's plus one" ermmmm. Wait. Who said we have enough places for so-and-so to have a plus one?!

It's not less annoying when so-and-so says "I'll bring a plus one" when you send the Save the Date stating just their name.

I know the 'rules of etiquette' are if someone is married, or has been with their partner (2 years or longer) then they should automatically get a plus one. If someone is single, has been single for a while, does not have anyone they're seeing and they have been in your family/friends for a while, they of course are invited but aren't really entitled to a plus one if numbers are tight.

Those of you planning, or have planned, a wedding will know exactly what I'm saying. For the benefit of those that have not, let me explain.

Most wedding venues like hotels and stately homes have packages for a certain amount of guests. If a couple wish to add extra, each extra person costs (usually quite a lot) more money per head.

The venue my husband and I chose was very strict with numbers, and there was under no circumstances to be any extra people on what we were permitted. It was written into the contract how they would be permitted to possibly vacate the premises if we had gone over the stated amount. We didn't want our wedding being cut short because of one or two people who couldn't respect the rule.

So, inviting a plus one without us saying we have space for you to have a plus one was just futile. It caused stress to myself and my husband (and most of us know, there is enough stress when planning a wedding!) and then you end up feeling disappointed when it wasn't us causing the disappointment, it was you!

To ensure this was clear to our guests, we wrote into our invites: Unfortunately, we must request the attendance of invitation-addressed guests only due to number regulations set by (the venue) and everyone did respect this request.

It is so hard to make sure everyone you want to be there is included, when you get told "you're allowed no more than 50 people" you think - 50 is loads! Then you start writing your list, blink, and 50 is gone just like that! *snaps fingers*

We chose to do it the fairest way - I got 24 guests, hubby got 24 guests then us 2 made the alloted 50. It worked well for us, rather than "well I've got more aunts and uncles..." "Well I have more cousins..." That would have been a painful (and probably unfair) way of organising it.

We were very lucky our families trusted and respected our decisions, and didn't try to get involved with the guest list.

We tried hard to please everyone and we are happy with how it turned out, I think everyone who came is too!

One wish: if we could have had 2 extra spaces my close friend and her partner should have been there at the ceremony but could only come to the evening. Being decent people, (hence why we're such good friends!) they understood the situation and were delighted to be a part of the big day. They came round to watch the wedding images DVD afterwards and were engrossed! They were genuinely so happy for us. She even helped me get out of my dress and shoes on the night of the wedding when I wanted to get changed!

Dear Diary... Monday Meze

The husband and I have had a few days off together and were determined to make the most of it!

We had tried a restaurant local to where we used to live with our parents a couple of times and both visits, the food had been amazing! On a Friday and Saturday evening, the waiting customers are spilling out the door as it's so busy!

We suggested my husband's mum and her partner came with us. They have recently returned from a holiday in Turkey and we thought they might appreciate the Turkish menu.

The place is called Shish Meze, Hornchurch RM11 3HS.

We chose to have the Family Special (for 4 people) which is Cold Mix Meze for starters, then a huge platter consisting of chicken wings, spicy lamb Adana, lamb & chicken Shish, lamb ribs and chops, two different types of rice and a seperate platter piled high with seasoned 'Shepherd's salad'.

The price is reasonable, too.

This was a winner all round!

Family Special main

Chocolate fudge cake

OOTD

Necklace: last season Forever 21

Cardigan: old. Next

Vest: again, old. H & M

Skirt: 2013 River Island

Boots: Kirt Geiger Carvela 'Stitch' (as featured in my post The Rule of Shopping

1. 
   

The Rule of Shopping

This happened to me last weekend! I tried on some boots that were in the sale in House of Fraser but we were in a rush and my husband said "I'm sure you have a similar pair" I strongly disagreed - I have black boots. Yes. Of course I own black boots. I own black hiiiigh heel shoe-boots for going out, black lace-up small chunky heel shoes boots with a fleece lining for winter and a pair of flat heel black Chelsea boots. But I distinctly did not own a pair of chunky black low heel ankle boots!

I felt they would be perfect for work AND going out. With jeans AND dresses. And even better, they were in the sale!

Anyway, I didn't buy them but I promised myself as I waved at them as I left the shop until I could no longer see them... That if I kept thinking about them I will get them! I was a little worried about this working out - they were in the sale and someone else might realise their worth and snap them up!

It wasn't until I was laying in bed that I really started to feel my life wouldn't be complete without said boots! (I am quite melo-dramatic, if I need to point it out!) I surreptitiously reached for my phone in the dark and Googled 'Kurt Geiger Carvela black boots sale'. My husband asked what I was doing and I explained the serious necessity of the situation. He knew when he was beaten! 

I scrolled down lots of different shoes & boots and with each unsuccessful row, I got more panicky! I finally found them http://www.kurtgeiger.com/stitch-black-nubuck-40-carvela-kurt-geiger-shoe.html 

They did not have my size! I knew then when I was beaten, so I left it to fate and went to bed.

We were going out to dinner the following day with friends, so we popped into House of Fraser and lo and behold there they were, waiting patiently  to come home with me! I said to my husband "should I or not?!" He said "I tried to talk you out of them yesterday, but you couldn't sleep last night for thinking about them - get them!"

I can't afford to buy brands such as Kurt Geiger without there being a sale, so this was obviously meant to be, just like the pointy blue shoes from the post 'The Girl in the Blue Shoes' which also had over 50% off the original price. Thank you Mr Geiger.

Now, they are where they belong!

Kurt Geiger Carvela 'Stitch' black boots - shopped at House of Fraser 

Shine Bright Like a (modest, affordable) Diamond!

I've just read an article written by someone who is very clearly rich, with a rich fiancé! It was all about the 4 C's of a diamond (Carat Weight, Cut, Colour, Clarity). 

Now, I am not a jeweller by profession, and neither is my husband, therefore I do not care personally about these features. Neither are we rich! Needless to say, most of the facts in the article floated right over my head - it was like a different language to me!

I remember meeting a friend of a friend a couple of years ago who had picked out her own engagement ring - exactly what she wanted - before he'd even discussed getting engaged! She had informed him if she wasn't given that exact one, she would say no if he dared propose. Sounds like a loving, healthy relationship to me! *did you sense the sarcasm?!*

When they did get engaged (with a similar ring, thank Goodness!) she then declared she was willing to wait years (and I mean 5+) to make sure the wedding day was of Katie Price and Cinderella proportions. She did not want things done by half. Fair enough, each to their own, but a marriage is surely more important than a wedding day?! I'm sure some people forget this.

I respect people who spend their own money on their choice of ring and their decisions to spend a lot of money if that is what they want to do. I just personally feel glad we did not do that. 

I have a few reasons for this. Number one - my husband sold his pride and joy modified one-off BMW 335i with custom Priory design body kit to pay off some old debts, to be able to move in together AND with what was left he bought me a surprise engagement ring!

He went into an independent jewellers in Hastings one day when he was away working and chose what he liked out of what he could afford. In my eyes, it was not cheap, but the grand scheme of what most spend on an engagement ring, it was not expensive either. It was simply what he liked and what he could afford.

It fitted perfectly! 

So that's reason number one to not spend a fortune on a ring - you don't have a fortune to spend in the first place!

Reason number two, I simply wouldn't feel safe walking around the streets with a massive, diamond-heavy expensive ring!

Number three, and probably the one I think about the most at present. I now can't wear my rings for more than a few hours a week. So people who go out and spend hours upon hours and hundreds upon hundreds (or even thousands!) could then go on to not even be able to wear their rings.

I have developed an eczema-type rash right on my wedding finger! I've tested for an allergy and it doesn't look like it's that. When you read up online the symptoms you wouldn't believe how common it is for married women to get 'wedding finger dermatitis' whether it be as a newlywed like myself, or after 5, 10, 20 years of marriage.

The biggest reason of them all... How much you spend on wedding and engagement rings is not a reflection of the success of a relationship! Nor is it a sign that you will last forever and ever as a couple cos your rings are better than the other girl's!

I am so glad we didn't break the bank, but that is my own personal experience and opinion! I am just here to give my thoughts, some will agree, others will not and it doesn't make either side right or wrong.

I forgot to mention, I adore my rings and I cry when I have to take them off when the rash reappears

What I wore... Belated birthday meal

My husband's sister and her fiancé couldn't make it to my birthday celebrations so we decided to go out the week after for a meal instead with my mother in law and her partner too.

I was going to wear a swishy, bright midi skirt I'd only worn once before with my Kurt Geiger Nine West blue pointy shoes of perfection! 

To my absolute dismay and disgust, the rain came and did not go! It didn't let up at all, in fact, it gathered momentum and was tipping it down by late afternoon. It was that lights on in the house all day kinda weather.

My mood started to match the weather. I don't know if it's just me, but when my outfit plan is ruined by outside factors I have no control over, it sends me into a feeling of despair! "What's the point in even going now!" Does tend to cross my mind, and occasionally even my lips!

The hubby, as ever, was the calming person in all this and as usual told me to get over it and that I'd, of course, look "perfect in whatever" I chose to wear!

But that's just it, my choice has been taken from me! Alas, what is a girl to do?!

Pick another outfit woman! 

I'm not one for wearing jeans out. I think they're better suited for Saturday afternoon weekly shopping (supermarket and mall!) and I wouldn't dream of wearing them out out! However, desperate times call for desperate measures and I remembered the jeans I'd stumbled upon when on our minimoon in London.

I had a sudden great thought - my new Monki jeans, my new mint green jewel-necked gorgeous soft Dorothy Perkins jumper (which I was going to wear with the skirt) with those delicious blue pointy courts could well be the answer to my problems this frightful Sunday evening!

The jeans are soooo comfortable, as is the jumper.

Jumper: http://m.dorothyperkins.com/mt/www.dorothyperkins.com/en/dpuk/product/petite-203533/petite-knitwear-203657/petite-embellished-jumper-3131062?bi=25&ps=24

Jeans: Monki 39 Carnaby St, London W1F 7DP

Shoes: http://www.kurtgeiger.com/women/flax22-blue-satin-36-5-nine-west-shoe.html

Belt: years old, from Dorothy Perkins 

Moschino bag last year (a Boxing Day bargain!)

Umbrella: Monki 39 Carnaby St, London W1F 7DP

The skirt I'd planned on wearing (it was just too cold and wet!)

Similar: http://m.dorothyperkins.com/mt/www.dorothyperkins.com/en/dpuk/product/petite-203533/petite-skirts-203660/petite-plum-pleated-midi-skirt-3184412?bi=1&ps=24

Dear Diary... An extra hour well spent

Yesterday (Sunday 26th) was our first year anniversary of moving into our lil house together!

We celebrated by leaving it alone for the day to travel halfway across the country! For a good reason - we were visiting my last surviving grandparent. We took advantage of the extra hour and jumped out of bed at 6:30am fresh as daisies!

My grandad has already indirectly been featured in this blog - he's the man my hand is linked with in my 'Say Cheese' post.

We left the house around half 8, popped to get petrol then stopped off to fuel ourselves in the form of a McDonalds breakfast! It was the second time I've ever had a McDonalds breakfast!

Car and us refuelled, we were on our way! We made the journey up there in 1 hour 50 mins which is pretty much a personal best for that route!

When we got there, after a chat, we all went for a walk through a lovely park, with a war memorial. The walk in the fresh air felt amazing and the sights were beautiful. We chatted about the past and my lovely late nan. My grandad told me how he first met my nan 69 years ago and how they came to be together.

It was lovely to be talking about my nan and although it was emotional, it felt good. My grandad told us stories about his time in National Service and what he's been doing to keep himself busy over the past few months.

After that long stroll we'd worked up an appetite and were ready for lunch! We stopped off at a Harvester (The Styvechale, Coventry) on the way back from the park and it was probably the best Harvester meal myself and my husband have ever had! My grandad had forgotten his glasses so, instead of picking bits to have read for him, he simply decided to have whatever I was having!

When we got back, we watched our entire wedding images DVD (this took almost 2 hours!) we talked about our big day and how much everyone seemed to enjoy it, and my grandad said how good he thought it was. We all agreed it could not have gone any better! He commented on the fact that every face had a constant beam the whole way through the DVD! 

My grandad then showed us their wedding photo album in black and white... How times have changed! Now we use effects to create something they didn't have an option over! 

All too soon, it was time to go home. A bit of traffic, roadworks and varying speed limits meant it took about 2 hours 40 mins to get home.

So we ate some chocolate, snuggled on the sofa and watched X Factor on ITV+1 (kinda agree with the decision of Jake going this week).

What a perfect day! I hope you all had as good a Sunday as I did.

Fuel for the journey:

Beautiful views at the park:

War memorial:

My nan and grandad's wedding album:

From 1951, almost 64 years ago.

Get your popcorn out... It's Movie Night on ITV

My Saturday night. When the person who has minimal knowledge of music becomes critic and judges each act from the comfort of my own comfy reclining sofa!

I didn't like the first two acts Jake and Only The Young. I usually like them and there's no denying they all have great voices, I suppose it was just the song choices?!

Even Lauren Platt's rendition of the popular 'Let it go' from Frozen wasn't as strong as the original (I can't help compare).

I've loved Jay James for 2 weeks running - I thought his version of '500 Miles' was amazing last week, and would be a perfect processional song, or even a first dance. The lyrics really stood out when sung in ballad form. I thought his 'Skyfall' tonight was good - I love the husky part of his voice! The same with Jack Walton I enjoyed his version of an old guilty favourite of mine - 'Eye of the Tiger'.

Andrea Faustini is in another league! Absolutely effortless and smooth. I just personally wouldn't buy the kinda songs his voice suits to sing.

Paul Akister was strong, as usual, I enjoy listening to his songs and liked he picked one that sped up and got a bit 'rockier' towards the end! Something to dance to! 

Lola Saunders was just as good this week as she was last week - wasn't sure about the highlights but they did suit her. 

It's a big song to sing but I felt she did it justice.

Stevie was ever the entertainer! He clearly enjoyed every moment of his energetic 'Footloose'! 

This week, the band that should be called Oct-agonal but are called Stereo Kicks were the strongest they've ever been. Their rendition of 'Let it be' was strong and they worked well together.

The bottom line is, they're all a lot better than I could ever dream of being! These are just my personal opinions, and I can very occasionally ;-) be wrong!

The man who closed the show has been one of mine and my husband's favourites from the beginning. Ben did not disappoint tonight! Loved his version of a classic 'Don't wana miss a thing'.

My favourite though has been my favourite since she smashed 'Bang Bang' by Jessie J, Nicki Minaj & Ariana Grande at the judges' houses stage... Ooo la la Lady Marmalade! I love you Fleur East!

All you need is love...

... And the diamonds,

And those heels 

And that dress!

- Carrie Bradshaw 

The love:

The diamond: a total surprise! I found it perched on top of a chocolate terrine (pic below) apparently it's from a boutique independent jewellers in Hastings, England.

The shoes: http://www.rockthefrockbridal.co.uk

Rock The Frock Ltd

First Floor

Cromwell House

Battlesbridge Antique Centre

Battlesbridge

Essex

SS11 7RF

Wore them for about 8 hours before kicking them off for a final boogie!

I can not wait to wear them with pretty dresses, and even skinny jeans, when peep-toe weather is back!

The dress: a Pronovias. Called Jackie. I had to have 7 inches from the bottom cos I've got lil legs! The seamstress at the shop I bought it from texted to cancel on me whilst trying to organise my first fitting seven weeks before the wedding day! I found a little gem in the form of a colleague's friend who does alterations in her spare time... My saviour!

Photo credit @carrie_br4dshaw on Instagram

The diamond:

The proposal:

Those heels:

That dress:

Children-welcome wedding!

I have just been looking through some of our photos from our wedding day. 

We had children at our wedding - my niece was 19 months old, she is one of the most important people in my life - not having her there would have been awful, unimaginable. My husband has a few children under 10 in his family and one of my closest friends has a 4 year old.

So, really, there is no decision to be made! We had to have them there, for the sake of their parents but also because people make the party! And what better people are there than children?! The innocence, the amazement, the laughter - I wouldn't have missed that for the world!

For privacy reasons I won't share them, but the photos we have of all the children at our wedding are priceless!

As we walked out to clouds of confetti, my gorgeous niece enjoyed every second (almost as much as we did!) Another shot is of me getting ready, and my niece looking on admiringly at my dress.

I couldn't imagine having to say to people with large families "you can bring your oldest children but leave the young ones at home". 

Aren't weddings about family, getting together and love?

"The Girl in the Blue Shoes"

A few weeks ago, it was that time of year again for jelly (vodka, naturally!), ice cream (with cake, of course) and the continuous opportunity to wear pretty outfits! Yes, it was my day of birth celebrations. I was 20-something and quite a bit closer to 30 now! Still younger than the hubby though 😝

We had lots of celebrations this year, and also went out to celebrate the date he proposed a year ago and an old friend's birthday.

I've put a picture on of what I wore for each occasion.

The berry coloured dress with the lace detail and full skirt was bought online from www.dorothyperkins.com, it's from an online brand called Chi Chi Clothing London http://www.chichiclothing.com

The mint jumper was also a Dorothy Perkins find. My jeans in the pic are from Monki 39 Carnaby St, London W1F 7DP

Separate posts to follow on both outfits.

The jumpsuit is last season River Island. The belt came with it, is elastic so you can wear it at varying parts of your waist in accordance with whatever outfit you wear it with. It's dry clean only which is the only annoying thing about it... Oh and having to get unchanged every time you pay a visit to the little girls' room! The black court shoes, I'd say they're mid-heel as I'm used to wearing much higher than that, but I knew there was going to be lots of walking involved that night! They are from Dorothy Perkins once again, but were in the sale 10 weeks ago, a total bargain and really comfortable!

The blue dress is also olddd (and I mean over 3 years old!) and was a Primark special! It's got thin string ribbon to tie and it's button up so you can wear it high on your chest but I wanted it to look more casual than shirt-like. The belt came with it - a thin, patent black.

Now for the Pièce de résistance... The part of the outfits that is the reason behind the Confessions of a Shopaholic-esque title of this post...

The SHOES! The SHOES! Ahh, the shoes! My beloved blue, pointy 'Carrie Bradshaw' Nine West Kurt Geiger courts 😍

http://www.kurtgeiger.com/flax22-blue-satin-42-nine-west-shoe.html

What more do I need to say?! They are stunning, gorgeous, perfect... I'm a lil bit in love if you couldn't tell!