The Most Important Dress Shop You'll Ever Do

I don't understand how people choose, commit to and pay for their wedding dress 12 months before their big day, or sometimes even longer.

The shops suggest 6-9 months before your wedding to start shopping because if it isn't a sample sale buying off the peg, to make a wedding dress takes around 3-4 months or so.

I know some people go trying on and even commit to purchasing one a year or more before their wedding day. I'm really curious if they feel comfortable as they're doing this because I certainly wouldn't.

Your tastes and opinions can change quite drastically over time, especially in clothing preferences. Also, don't styles change quite a bit over the seasons?! If you're totally sold on something then in 6 months time another drop-dead gorgeous, PERFECT dress comes out, how hard would you kick yourself?!

Another reason I wouldn't feel comfortable is anything could happen in that time! You might become pregnant, or ill, or put on weight, or lose it. All the seamstresses I originally contacted once my dress was ordered told me they won't make dresses bigger at all and they can only take in by a size or 2 also.

Don't get me wrong - I did the same thing as most. I was so excited at the prospect of my very own wedding day, I booked to try on dresses less than a month after our engagement! I fell in love on my second trying-on session and put a deposit down on the spot. I was ecstatic! A lil niggling thought "was it too soon?!" did cross my mind but I loved it so it must be right! This was a year ago this month. Last November we still had 9 months until our big day when I purchased my gown.

Then, I shared a picture of me trying it on with my so-called best friend. Her response: she cried for 10 hours and refused to come to my wedding because I'd chosen a similar style to her! Needless to say, we're not in touch anymore! I wasn't to know what hers was going to be like!

She was getting married early summer 2015 and had bought her dress in summer 2013. Absolute madness, so much time will pass from buying to wearing - she could end up hating it by the year she gets married!

Pronovias released their 2014 collection just one month after I'd bought mine and was eagerly awaiting it's creation and arrival in England. I must admit, I felt a little like I was missing out - the new designs were amazing and I felt like mine would look old and out of style by the summer!

I know this won't count for everyone, as most brides put my organisation to shame. But I didn't do any research into wedding dress styles or designers. I visited two local shops and picked every single one I liked off the rails and got busy trying on. My mind was totally open and totally clueless! Had I done any research, I'd have searched out a couple of designers stockists as I've since found some really exquisite gowns and stunning designs.

Anyway, this is from where I stand, how I see it! Would love to hear from any real-life brides how they got on finding a dress and how long before their wedding day they chose it? As I well know, what works for one won't necessarily be right for another.

Pronovias 'Jackie' 

Is black the new black?!

I wore black last night! Yes, actual all black! (Apart from the cardi and coat!) 

I know for some people, that's their norm. Not for me - I very rarely wear all black. I think I can remember when I stopped wearing a lot of black. It was years ago, I was out shopping with my then-boyfriend and asked if he liked an item of clothing. He said to me that it was the same as everything else I owned: dark. So I picked up the same item in a different colour (grey) and he informed me that all I ever wear is black or grey. Yes I know, I do admit he was a bit of an idiot. On so many levels... But that's a different blog post maybe for a different time.

Looking back, when I went on nights out I didn't always wear black/ grey. For work, our uniform rule was you could wear any colour as long as it's black. So it makes sense why I was always buying black clothes. I remember my favourite out out dress was a bright baby pink spaghetti strap mini dress. And boy, that was one gorgeous dress! I currently can't fit more than one thigh in it though, so it's in the wardrobe archives!

Anyway, I think his comment affected my decisions more than I imagined it would.

Since then, I've made a conscience effort to not just wear black. My usual non-work attire consists of patterns... Ooo I love a pattern... And some block colours. Sometimes these can be hard to work together, whereas the merits of black are that black goes with pretty much everything (except for brown and dark navy blue - please don't do it!) 

I still enjoy wearing colour even if it isn't always easy and takes some brain power to collaborate your items at times!

My usual attire: Patterns

Love living a colourful life

I was looking through my Instagram feed a few weeks ago and saw an outfit and just thought *emoji face with hearts for eyes* wow! A sheer, loose black dress of varying lengths around the hem paired with those achingly-in-fashion-this-season over the knee boots. It all just worked - so effortlessly but so chic and 'on point' at the same time. The person had captioned her photo: All Saints. Now, being a supporter of all things bright and wonderful, I usually avoid that shop. I went with my sister when she wanted to choose a dress to wear for my wedding. Nothing particularly caught my eye, not for me. I adored what my sister wore, but when it comes to colour versus black clothes - we're opposite ends of the spectrum!

After seeing this Instagram photo, I thought I'd make a casual trip to All Saints for myself and see what all the fuss is about.

A lot of the clothing in there is black or grey. They are also quite expensive. I found a dress I liked and tried it on. I'll be honest, I wasn't immediately sold. The hem finishes longer and straight across at the back (about mid-low calf) and the front is ruched up at the right hip, with two splits up to the thighs on each side.

I felt the back finished at an odd length. I stepped out of the fitting room and my husband was so complimentary. The dress is soooo comfortable. It is soft, and quite loose but not shapeless. I wanted to keep it on forever, despite my lil niggling doubts. We used his discount card and boom! It was suddenly in a crisp paper All Saints bag on it's way home!

And we haven't looked back!

Last night: all black from All Saints

Cardigan is old Dorothy Perkins

Happy ever after...

A wedding day is, typically, just that - only one day.

But, is it really?! It resounds in your memory for far longer than that!

I was inspired to write this by seeing someone post on a social media site that they were using one of their wedding presents for the first time.

A wedding day doesn't just stop at midnight of that day (ok, not in that way! Keep it clean!!) and for months, maybe even years after, a song, a scent or a face may bring it all flooding back - that jaw-aching joy of your wedding day.

Whenever I see a picture of an orange gerbera, a Pronovias gown or a pair of dainty, ivory heels, a birdcage veil and a tiered cake... I'm taken right back to that day in August.

I met up with a friend of mine the other week and we have the kinda friendship where you can be quite honest with one another. She told me that in September, she had attended "the best wedding I've ever been to" then apologised. I didn't need a sorry - I didn't get married to dazzle people. My mum feels our wedding was much more 'over-the-top' than she'd ever dream of having, or would recommend doing. 

We did it on quite a tight budget - we've worked out the entire wedding was around £7,000. That is a lot of money. How ever much money you have - I think you'll still acknowledge seven thousand pounds is a large amount of money. Some people spend more on their wedding day. I don't personally believe in spending any more than that - I had wanted to spend much less but my husband really wanted the kind of wedding we had. Don't get me wrong, I did enjoy it.

Ultimately, I would never spend any more than that amount of my own money on 'just one day'... But that's not to say I'd judge others - they're not asking me to pay for their's so what's it my business what others spend?! 

I truly think people don't understand this. That I don't value a wedding day the same way I value, say, a holiday or a house. In the same conversation with my friend, she told me all about the details that had wow'ed her at the wedding in September. I asked if she would do the same if her and her partner ever choose to get married in the future. She said "well yea, it depends on the money we have" I replied that I didn't think money mattered that much to me - even if I'd had thousands of pounds, I wouldn't have spent it on that 'one day'. I just don't believe it's that important or necessary, for me. She said "well, anyone would if they had the money" I reiterated my point again, but, no, for her it really was a matter of if you have the money - you would splash it on a castle, netted dress and a cake. Nope, not over here! 

Clearly, that showed in our wedding. We didn't include loads of details. Our big day wasn't revolved around the big day, as such, but for our love - for each other, our family, lost loved ones and friends.

Having said that, when I see the glorious remnants of people's special days on social media and in person... It all seems that, whatever you chose to spend... It's worth it.

Idiots Abroad!

All summer and through winter too, people go on holiday. How do I know they've gone on holiday? They post it on social media for the world to see.

I used to do this, when I lived at home with my family. So when I boarded that plane to paradise, the rest of my family were all at home still. The house wasn't left empty. My now-husband did too... He even had a daily (to hourly) countdown for a 2010 holiday, back in the days of having Facebook!

We choose not to post now until we get back from any trip... Because we've since moved out.

It may sound like common sense but I see so many people who live alone posting on all social media that they're away. Some even use their own full name on their accounts, so the ability for any unsavoury characters to find out their address is even easier. (I always use a pseudo name on social media - it makes me feel a lil detached and a lil more secure). I still don't post that I'm away.

I see mountains of pictures of 'hotdog legs' and ancient ruins, with interesting captions. 

Don't get me wrong, I love your holiday photos. I just feel it'd be safer to post them once you're back, and you're not advertising to the world that your place is empty. 

Just my view on something I feel I have to protect - our home, our processions. I do post loads of ours on my social media, I enjoy sharing our time away with my cyber friends. When we are back home.

Photo credit: Google Images

Dear Diary... Date night

I love going on dates. I enjoy getting dressed up in something that will impress my date, and myself, when I look in the mirror! (If you don't love yourself, how can you expect others to?!) I love choosing what to wear, what shade lipstick to put on, how to make up my eyes, what shoes, coat and bag will finish the outfit off perfectly.

I love choosing where to go on a date, what I'm going to eat, the opportunity for intimate one to one communication. 

It's even better when you're dating someone you know inside out, you care about more than words can express, yet the thought of being in this person's presence still makes your butterflies flutter and your pulse pulsate.

Photo credit: found on Twitter

Tonight, I went on a date with my husband. He really fancied an Indian meal and we haven't had one in a while.

We were driving to our usual one, which is round the corner to our parents' houses and about a 40 minute drive away from our house. As we got to the first roundabout - there's a restaurant at one of the exits, called Voujon, Orsett.

We have been eyeing this Indian restaurant up since we moved in a year ago. It was pouring with rain and we were both hungry. My husband sailed straight past the turn-off we take to go to my parent's town, and pulled into the restaurant car park. I love people who can make a decisive decision - I am definitely not one of these people!

We have been trying to not have too many take-aways or nights out, to save a little for our honeymoon (when we get round to booking one!) but a friend had mentioned she fancied an Indian, and it put the idea in our heads!

They accommodated us immediately, despite being busy and us not having booked a table and the service was spot-on. The food was delicious and piled high! I could not manage to finish it. The staff were so attentive. It was such an upbeat, bustling atmosphere but with a real air of sophistication. 

I chose to have a bit of everything and went for a mixed Tandoori - with flavoured chicken and lamb. I couldn't finish it! My husband helped me out a little, and managed to polish off all of his food! It was well worth the money it cost. It won't be a weekly occurrence, but what a perfect treat for a rainy late Autumn Saturday evening.

What I wore

Ready!

How to avoid Post-Wedding Blues

Photo credit: etsy.com

I know you're going to feel strange, no matter what, after your wedding. Most people spend a lot of time and money on their wedding. I think the people who do the half an hour ceremony in a Registry Office then off home are probably on to something!

I have been thinking how I managed not to suffer too badly from the dreaded post-wedding blues.

First of all, I was prepared for them. I was ready and waiting for them! They didn't really ever come! 

I did suffer physically after our wedding - we got married on the 29th August and on my first day back to work on 1st September, I woke up with a red, itchy rash on my neck and flu-like symptoms. I now still have a few itchy, dry patches I've never had before on my neck and under my eyes. Then on 10th September that rash I referred to in my blog post Shine Bright Like A (modest, affordable) Diamond joined my finger and hasn't gone! That has got me down, but as for actual post wedding blues... What is there to be sad about - you've got your lovely husband (hopefully) and made some amazing memories! Plus you get your spare time back!

I found planning a wedding and all the DIY aspects of it a chore. You have to put your evenings, weekends, time off aside to do this.

Here are a few things I think can help to minimise or even eradicate those ever-feared post-wedding blues.

Plan things to look forward to. A party, a day out, a night out, a meal... As a couple, as a family... Whatever pleases you. I was lucky my birthday was 5 weeks from our wedding date. I had planned a party at our house and told everyone back in July, it gave me something to focus on after the wedding - we sent invites out the week after the wedding!

Which leads me nicely on to...

Don't go on honeymoon straight away... I have heard many people on cloud 9 in the lead up to their wedding then packing and posing on beaches with tan skin in absolute bliss. Then they get back on the plane, 7, or 14 days later and that's it! Wedding over. Fun over. Laughter over. That shouldn't be the case - you didn't get married just to go on an exotic, fancy holiday (I hope!) And, as above, it gives you something in the future to look forward to.

One of our generous family member wedding guests gifted us a night in a lovely hotel the night of the wedding. My husband had booked a total secret for the day after the wedding. He took me up to London to stay in The May Fair Hotel, W1J 8LT and a few more surprises that day and evening! Plus they upgraded us when we got there to a 2-floored suite within the hotel. I am so glad we did this - it prolonged the perfect weekend, but was glad I didn't stay for longer than a night - I could get used to that kinda place all too easily!

We are planning on going on honeymoon next year sometime once I've changed my name on my passport. We did ask, for anyone wishing to give us a gift on our wedding day, if we could have a donation for our honeymoon fund!

It gives us something to look forward to!

I strongly believe you shouldn't spend too long, too many weekends and evenings planning your wedding. We started planning ours as soon as he proposed, and we got married 10 months after. He has always told me he wanted a short engagement and all of 2013 he said "we're getting married next year" - I did think we'd just go and get married without the proposal at one point! I've heard so many people say "what am I going to do now?!" Erm, enjoy your life? With your brand new built-in best mate... Your husband. I think the longer you plan it, the more you miss it once you've got nothing to plan. I imagine it becomes a way of life, rather than a short episode in your life. 

And, most important tip of all...

Be sure before you marry that you're marrying the right person and for the right reasons - a marriage isn't all about the wedding day. There's the tiny matter of the rest of your lives to spend together!

As ever, my opinions, not facts. Do whatever feels right for you and your partner and you can't go wrong!

Made up with my makeup!

As promised...

The make up I wore for our wedding day just over 2 months ago. How time flies when you're a newlywed living in happily married bliss!

You might be wondering why there's no mascara in the picture...

I had false lashes (last 6-8 weeks) glued on and I wouldn't recommend it to my worst enemy! As I was having them done, my eyelids constantly flutter and won't stay shut. This makes it very difficult to apply the lashes, as your eyes need to stay closed for the duration of having them put on. 

After 2 days of a bloodshot and streaming eye, I phoned the lady who had done them (the night before the wedding) and she came to see what the problem was, the glue had stuck to my eyelid rather than my eyelash and was scratching my eyeball whenever I blinked. Ouch! is an understatement! She had to pull them all off with tweezers as the glue remover hadn't budged them - I lost 8 of my real ones and had a gap at the end of the row. She offered to rectify this but I was so sore I couldn't bare anything more being done to my poor eye! Thank Goodness for glasses and a fringe! Not one person noticed the gap!

I got them done because I thought I was going to cry. Even though my husband was crying (happy tears, apparently!) as I approached him to the beautiful sounds of At Last - Etta James, well, I didn't shed one single tear until my grandad left at 10:30pm! And even that wasn't enough to have even ruined a good mascara! My advice: go for the Eylure lashes (can get from Boots) I used to use these every weekend and they're a lot cheaper and less painful than the glued semi-permanent. Or, use a waterproof mascara.

I bought the MAC powder on a trip across the water from good ole Essex to the Garden of England... Kent. A friend and I visited Bluewater shopping centre at the beginning of August and a lady who works at MAC did my make up for me. She never showed me what it was she was using. I agreed I looked flawless, although it did feel very 'heavy' on my face - I understand it's full coverage, and bought what she'd used. When I got them home to show my then-fiancé I got the foundation out the bag (I'd paid extra for a pump also) and it was the Studio Fix liquid with SPF in it! I had said I didn't want one with an SPF cos of the ghostly pale it looks in photographs if the camera has a flash. I tried it out nonetheless, and, yes, there was a white sheen over my face and the rest of my body looked normal colour! This would only be a problem in the dark - it's only really noticeable when a camera's flash goes off to capture the photo.

I couldn't wear that! I looked on the reviews and loads of people had written the same. 

Anyway, I'd also purchased the Prep + Prime finishing powder from MAC. I was told to use this to make my foundation stay on longer. I apply this with a Clinique powder brush.

I still needed a foundation that will stay all afternoon and evening, cover my pesky red patches (see previous post: My face's journey to the wedding) and not contain an SPF.

Just when I'd convinced myself using my everyday one would be fine, the Wednesday 27th August (we got married the 29th) my husband took me to our local shopping mall - Lakeside, Essex.

He insisted I try his favourite brand Clinique (he won't buy anything from anyone else!) 

I explained what I wanted to the lady at the counter and she used this miracle foundation - had no SPF, felt light and airy but still fully covered oh so well! She also advised that to counteract red tones in skin, a soft peach works best. So I purchased Clinique's Blushing Blush in Innocent Peach.

My miracle foundation

The lady did say she recommends using a foundation with SPF on normal days, as it protects from the sun's harmful rays, but she understood why I didn't want one for my wedding evening, when the dark would prompt camera flashes to be used. 

The Superbalanced Foundation doesn't have a pump, you have to pour it.

I apply it by tipping it sideways and placing my brush at the edge, as I find pouring it on your hand increases wastage (personal preference).

I started my makeup at 1:30pm as our photographer was due to arrive at 2:30, my mum was drying my hair around 2pm, and I was to get into my dress by 3:15pm.

I used my trusty SkinDrink Facial Moisturiser from Lush Cosmetics as a base, it is quite rich and creamy but very smooth. It acts as a primer as well, so I only used a touch of Benefit POREfessional Primer (it's run out now, hence not in the photo above) on top of the moisturiser to ensure it stayed on as long as I needed it to.

I then applied my lovely Clinique Superbalanced foundation. I applied my normal amount, then thought, "I NEED this to last, there will be hugging, kissing, possibly crying, for about 9 hours!" So I applied just as much again - I did NOT want those red patches to be making an appearance by wedding breakfast time!

The MAC Prep + Prime finishing powder was brushed on all over next - to seal the deal!

I put a little of the Blushing Blush on my cheeks, a sweep of Benefit World Famous Neutrals 'Most Glamorous Nudes Ever' eyeshadow, and my gorgeous Ruby Woo MAC lipstick (which I only had to apply once more, in the evening) then Ta-Daa!! Ready to walk down that aisle 💋

My face's journey to the wedding

When we first got engaged and booked our wedding a year ago, I assumed I would have a make-up artist.

I have a horrible red pigment patch on my left cheek, and a very slight one on the other cheek. These are the bain of my life - I hate them. I think they make me look awful. So I wanted to cover them.

I've been to doctors and to beauticians before and they just call it Rosacea... Maybe it is, maybe it isn't. All I know is I need it covered! It's the first thing I see when I look at my face in a mirror.

I started researching makeup artists. I understand you get what you pay for but my argument is my face is the same as it is every other day - why is it over twice as much to get it made up on your wedding day?!

The first lady I came across I looked through her photos and thought they were good. I looked up her prices... £35 for full make-up. Ok, we can afford that. Then scroll down her 'menu' bride's make-up from £200. £200?! With a deposit of £70, and then more for the trial. Are you joking?! On the 28th August it would cost me £35, on 29th August it was going to cost me £200?!

Ok. On with the search. I found a lovely lady who came to my attention through her work on Halloween fancy dress makeup. But this lady can do glam, natural, dramatic - your wish is her command! 

The photo that caught my attention (with Mario & Charlie - TOWIE) 2013 courtesy of @ashleyep83  Twitter page.

Sam Faiers - make up by Ashley (source: Twitter  @ashleyep83)

A recent photo of Ashley's courtesy of her Twitter page.

I got in touch with Ashley and she was lovely. I explained how obsessed with her work I was! It turns out she is located up in Manchester - but does travel, depending on circumstances. Ashley suggested, for her to do the journey from Manchester down to Essex, I could have my wedding makeup, mother of the bride's and up to 4 girls (bridesmaids) aswell for a decent price.

My mum did not want her make up done - she only wears eye makeup and I didn't have any bridesmaids nor really close friends at the time who could step in and have their makeup done! I've got closer to 3 girl friends now whom I regularly see, but, remember, I'm talking about a year ago.

Anyway, going slightly off track there. I couldn't afford the bill for just myself and I didn't want to put it upon Ashley to do that journey just for one person. Every time I've spoken with Ashley I find her to be professional, friendly and a pleasure to have been in contact with. If I ever get married again (!!) I'll have to try to do it in Manchester!

After all that, I never found anyone whose work impressed me as much as Ashley's. Another thing I kept thinking was - I just want my red patch covered! I don't really need dramatic eyes, I'm probably going to cry anyway! (I didn't until 10:30pm!).

I had a few discussions with my then-fiancé who said he was happy to help me to pay for whatever I said I needed, but in his honest opinion - you shouldn't break the bank over something you're going to wash off after 8 hours. He took me to many places to try makeup - MAC, Benefit, Bare Minerals (who had cancelled my appointment without phoning me due to staff sickness - needless to say I didn't bother there again!) Finally, 2 days before the wedding, we went to the place my husband will only buy all of his toiletries from - Clinique. 

He said he would rather me get something I can wear again and again rather than pay more for the make up for just one day.

So, that was my journey of what to do with my face for my wedding... I will feature my choice of makeup in a future blog.

If you are interested in having quality makeup done by a friendly, talented professional - Ashley's website is makeupbyashley.co.uk and no Ashley has not asked me to write this - I merely speak as I find and give credit where credit is due.