Sunday reminiscing...

I remember when it was 21st birthdays, then 25th. Now we're onto 30th celebrations!

Back in our late teens/early 20s it was all about fancy dress, alcopops and cheap champers! Staying out every night until closing - Monday was student night £1 a drink! Tuesday was my favourite- all the cheesy tunes! Paying £10 every Friday and Saturday to get into a club where they played bongos on stage. Back in those days you could go out alone and be guaranteed to see people you knew, it was home from home!

When the biggest thing you worried about was what to wear. 

21st birthdays were filled with bar crawls, fancy dress (yes me and 8 friends went out dressed as bunny girls for the night!!) and dancing all night!

Last night, I went to my friend's 30th celebrations. There, we spoke about the merits of red wine with steak, our favourite white wine, puppies and babies! There was plenty of dancing and drinking still going on (that will never change - I hope!) It was just noticeable how the topics of conversation have changed so much in the space of 5-10 years! 

I do love reminiscing about our time in our early 20s but I feel grateful we have been given the opportunity to grow up, to have our own house (and puppy). Yes, with that comes responsibility but at our age now, is that really a bad thing?

My husband and I often talk about if we are not blessed with a child (I say child not children cos let's face it - one is difficult enough to try to create, can scarcely hope for 2!)

For a while now, we have become sure we are ready (as ready as you can ever be for that). We often - to make ourselves feel better if it doesn't happen - talk about how much more freedom we would have if it never happens... But the fact still remains we have changed. I love dancing - always, but feel ready to tackle that next step in life if it ever comes. 

Oh, I forgot to mention - the hemlines get longer too!

Finding the right words...

Many people don't know what to say when met with 'awkward' or upsetting situations. When they come across situations they've been fortunate enough to never have been in. I've had many people say to me, and others in my position, that they just don't understand. They just don't know what to say to us. They would love to help and never intend to hurt us with their words, or lack of words at times.

My aim for this post is to share some of the "please don'ts" and "maybe try instead..." and if it helps even one person who hasn't known what to say to someone they know, then that's a step in the right direction.

Without further ado;

• Don't say "I know how you're feeling" no one ever really can say they know what another is feeling - we all feel, interpret and see things differently. No two scenarios and couples are the same. Especially don't say this if you follow it with "it took me 6 months to conceive" when it's been over twice that time for the person you're trying to reassure!

• Don't say "you should feel lucky for what you do have" I know I should. At times that logic does work. But mainly I'm sad longing for what I don't have. Having an otherwise ideal-looking life shouldn't undermine the problems I do face. 

• Don't say "my friend's cousin's dog's goldfish got pregnant when..." Sometimes these stories give us hope. Other times it makes us want to scream. Your friend's cousin's dog's goldfish's story doesn't alter our current situation, as much as we'd all like it to.

• Don't say "it's because you're stressed" yes stress is a horrible symptom with many side effects. I agree. Telling someone to stress less has never been proven to actually make them stress less unfortunately!

• Don't say "you wait til you have children of your own!" One word: OUCH!

• Don't say "it'll happen when you least expect it" please explain to me how now you know your own body's natural signs and symptoms inside out, know the dates of everything, how do you go about forgetting that information, these facts?? Then to top it off, you find out your body has not been working 'as it should' how do you go about forgetting all of that in order to 'surprise' yourselves?!

Instead, try

• "This must be hard for you, I'm here if you need to talk" - not undermining their sadness of their predicament and reassuring you're there to listen and give advice if you feel you can.

• "What you are going through is really awful, your problems matter as much as anyone else's" 

• "I know some sad endings do happen, but I have heard many happy endings too... And I really hope for yours to be one of them..." The person will probably be open to hearing a good story with that opening and fill them with hope - which is what I know is intended in these stories.

• "I understand totally why you are stressed" a professional said this to me, along with a couple of other people. Having someone acknowledge and accept the reason you're stressed, almost feels like you're 'allowed' to be stressed; that it's perfectly understandable and acceptable. This made me the least stressed I'd been in weeks when I heard that. 

• Think before you speak! Don't ask anyone about their plans for children unless they directly bring it up with you first, don't make fly-away comments: "pregnant yet? Been married over a year now" or the one above "you wait until you have children" as it is NOT a definite that people can and will go on to have children; contrary to wide belief it is not a basic human right for us all. These comments have hurt me so much and the people saying them don't intend to harm.

• "You do what's right for you" once someone has started down that route of knowing their cycle and tracking their symptoms it's pretty impossible to just forget all this knowledge. Also, once you are at the stage of getting professional help it's quite important to be able to answer questions as fully as possible - so I record everything. So no I won't have a "oh how did that happen?!" surprise but my goodness if it ever happens - with all the disappointment so far - I think I'll fall over if I ever see a positive! So I guess it'll be a surprise anyway! 

I really hope these help, as I know when some of the 'don'ts' are said - they are not indended to harm.

50 facts about me!

I read through, with interest, http://throughemseyes.com Emma's blog - lifethroughemseyes on Instagram. This lady is so caring and a genuinely lovely person. She has been a pleasure to get to know over social media.

Anyway; at the end there is a challenge and boy do I love a challenge! Emma tags anyone with a blog to share 50 facts about them! I loved doing this and probably could have gone on to 100 before running out of steam! I clearly must love talking about myself!

Without further ado; below is my list of 50 facts about me!

1. My name is Kerri and I am addicted to chocolate!

2. My dad once bought me a football shirt for my birthday and the shop printed my name "KERRY" so they had to get a replacement spelt correctly!

3. Without fail; pyjamas are my only house attire

4. I have poor circulation in my feet and hands; my feet go white then blue and I lose feeling in them (even in mild weather) and my hands go white and I lose feeling sometimes in winter! It can make walking/writing difficult!

5. My now-husband told me "you're the girl I'm going to marry" 3 weeks after we started being friends. My reply was rather unpleasant! I won't repeat what I said in response! Don't you just hate it when your man is right?!

6. I can't sing. But I love to sing! Apologies to anyone within ear-shot!!

7. I love fashion - seeing what others are wearing and outfit-planning

8. I have 8 tattoos

9. I have been married for 15 months, 1 week & 6 days

10. We got married at the same place as both our births were registered 

11. I have around 80 pairs of shoes in total

12. I want to be a mum one day. We really want to become parents

13. I take everything literally. This drives everyone around me mad sometimes! I can't help it!

14. Since before I was born, my family have always had a dog - my husband and I are puppy parents to our adored shih-tzu

15. I am a worrier. Possibly the biggest worrier ever known!

16. I played unisex rugby at the London Youth Games

17. I got a flat tyre the same day that I'd passed my driving test

18. I'm brilliant at remembering dates

19. I take more than 2 photos EVERY TIME! So I have around 5 duplicates of everything on my phone & camera 

20. I didn't know what real, unselfish, adult love was until I met and got to know my now-husband

21. I HATE odd numbers - I get overly anxious is anyone leaves the volume etc on an odd number

22. In 2010 I handed my notice in to my job, an imminent mortgage n purchase and left my ex to move to Ibiza for 6 months...

23. ... I came back after 9 days!

24. I am very caring 

25. I find it hard to let things go 

26. I hate the thought of people not liking me

27. I use to go clubbing at least 4-6 times a week

28. I am a qualified and experienced hairstylist

29. I am a qualified and experienced care and support worker

30. I hate the smell and taste of coffee

31. I feel sick at the sight of blood!

32. I am quite short at 5'1.5" but wouldn't want it any other way!

33. I am sooooo indecisive!

34. I stress about things and need constant reassurance.

35. I don't like cheese...

36. But I love halloumi!

37. I HATE bacon - the sight, smell and taste makes me gag. 

38. I don't like to be too far away from my mum and if I am - I can't be too far from my phone so I can still communicate with her!

39. I have red pigmentation on my face; predominantly my left cheek. I hated it for years to the extent if I accidentally saw it in a mirror after my makeup had worn off slightly; I'd cry. I've recently become more accepting of it.

40. I can't bear my knees being touched! It makes me feel queasy!

41. I have never smoked

42. I live in the same area as the programme TOWIE is filmed 

43. I am a soap addict - Hollyoaks, Emmerdale, Coronation Street, Eastenders

44. I love to dance

45. I love going out for dinner

46. I only wear my wedding ring on occasions and it's the last thing I put on before I leave and the first thing to come off when I get home!

47. I am in love with my husband's beard 

48. I am one of life's planners; I have lists for the lists I need to make! I write everything down! Even my lists have lists!!

49. I have played the lottery 5 times in the past, 3 of those times I've won £10 so I look at it I'm £25 up as each ticket cost £1!

50. I would love to be a writer

New November outfits

I have been out for quite a lot of meals this month! You all know what this means; list upon list of outfit combinations saved to my phone Notes!

I've pretty much worn most on my 'not worn yet' list now! And it's just coming up to party season so que more outfit musings!

A Saturday meal out with friends

My new pink blouse is from my old favourite Dorothy Perkins, black straight leg trousers are last season's French Connection and my shoes here are from Wallis. It was love at first sight with the shoes for me - so comfortable but look great because of the chain detail across the in-step. My only qualm about the trousers are they're Dry Clean Only. Call me lazy; but I love doing our washing as it's easy to do it yourself at home - and effort to take them somewhere then have to pick them up another time!

A casual Saturday out shopping and lunching 

I love these boots! Courtesy of my mum - they were bought years ago (before I was born I think!) and passed down to me. The sheer definition of vintage right there! 

My top here is new; I got it from a relatively new shop called Apricot. Apparently they sell items from here in some New Looks now too. Light-weight and perfect for 'in n out' days - where you're maybe between the great outdoors and central heating; going between coffee shop / outside / shops / restaurants / outside! Jeans are my trusty Topshop Leigh style.

A meal out in London

I couldn't wait to wear this blouse when I bought it! I do love a sheer, loose blouse (the pink one has my heart too!)

I got it from Dorothy Perkins (petite obviously) it's so comfortable and easy to wear - perfect for an expanding stomach after a delicious meal! My jeans are old Primark ones. The boots I got when there was money off at Office. I tried them on; perfect fit!! It's always difficult for both shoes to be comfortable on me as one foot is an inch bigger than the other! These boots have a short, thick heel of about 1.5-2 inches. They are so cute and perfect ankle height, they will go with dresses and skirts too!

When I saw this gilet in H&M I wasn't sure about it. My husband pointed it out to me on the hanger. I didn't know whether it would look right as the front is faux fur and the back and arm trim are black jumper material. The gilet is quite long (to be fair; everything is on me unless it's Petite!) Once I tried it on I realised it would go perfectly with so many of my outfits; the length and black plain back make outfits look automatically smarter especially with dark bottoms. It was such good value. It's warm! I'm glad I bought it! 

Hunger Games Mockingjay pt2 outting 

The cutest, most comfortable jumper ever! I could have slept in it! Dorothy Perkins Petite strikes again! Worn here with last year's Monki jeans (please excuse how bunched up the bottoms are; they tend to make jeans for tall people and forget about us lil legs!) every shop should have a petite section but they don't so we do our best with what we have!

These boots have been worn a few time now and I feel they were such good value for money and will be worn lots! Another Dorothy Perkins purchase! 

The back of the Dorothy Perkins jumper

I hope you enjoy seeing my outfits! And I'm sure there will be more to come in December; party season!

Autumn outfits

I love fashion!

I love people watching, window shopping and looking on Instagram for outfit inspiration. Some of the outfits I see, I immediately know won't work for me. I am quite short and pear-shaped so I know it's futile to try to emulate someone with long legs, slim hips and smaller bottom's outfits.

As much as I dislike the colder winter months; I do like the wardrobe changes! I'm one of those people who is always cold so layers, thermal socks and boots are my life-saver from October to April!

I hate when you mentally choose an outfit for an occasion but the weather destroys your plans! To get over this, I've purchased a few frost-friendly additions to my wardrobe.

About a month ago, I noticed It's all about burgundy, tan and burnt orange. I don't always automatically follow what is 'in' but I love these colours and felt I could easily work them into my existing (three) wardrobes!

Burgundy

Loose fitting top ~ Apricot

Patterned trousers ~ Oasis

Loafers ~ Dune

Skirt ~ Dorothy Perkins

Thigh high boots ~ ASOS

Tan and burnt orange 

Loose fitting burnt orange top ~ Apricot

Patterned pencil skirt ~ Dorothy Perkins

Tan ankle boots ~ Linzi

Loose blouse-material layer ~ Dorothy Perkins

Blouse with orange flowers ~ Dorothy Perkins

Soft jumper ~ Dorothy Perkins 

Blue boots ~ Dorothy Perkins

Tan boots ~ Linzi

Autumn nail colours 

because you're not fully dressed without some polish on your nails!

L~R: Rimmel Metal Rush, Nails Inc Fenchurch Street, OPI It's All San Andreas's Fault, Barry M Gelly Hi-Shine Mustard, Rimmel Salon Pro Beige Babe, Nails Inc St Pancras, Barry M Quick dry Pit Stop

Rimmel Salon Pro Beige Babe

Dear Diary... My (not so) Hallowe'en outfit

We were invited to a get-together at my aunt in law's house for Hallowe'en. 

The 31st October falling on a Saturday evening is the perfect excuse for a fun, alcohol and chat filled evening!

What I wore:

Dress ~ Dorothy Perkins

Boots ~ ASOS 

Glasses ~ Aurora (Specsavers)

Lipstick ~ MAC Viva Glam 2

Lip liner ~ MAC Nice n Spicey 

What I drank:

Barefoot White Zinfandel rosé

Throwback Thursday! The Proposal 💍

It's the 29th October 2015... Which means we got married exactly 14 months ago this afternoon!

What a great excuse to share my afore-promised proposal story (sorry, I should say our - it couldn't have happened without him!!)

My husband had booked a restaurant for the weekend following my Thursday birthday. The previous weekend we'd been out as a large group to start the celebrations. I'd had a brilliant evening and was so excited for my actual birthday and our meal for just us two!

I remember feeling a little sad because a couple of people had forgotten my birthday so was on a bit of a downer!

On the Saturday, 5th October 2013, I wasn't sure what to wear. It's so frustrating when you don't know where you're being taken; do you dress up up or just up?! My hair didn't go right either and I remember feeling disappointed he was finishing work later that day than I'd anticipated.

I sound like a right moaning moaner! I love a surprise as much as the next person, don't get me wrong, but I do get frustrated and feel the need to know!

We arrived at the Magic Mushroom in Essex and he whisked me inside. Our table was just being set up so we were ushered, lady first, over to some plush arm chairs. We were handed a wine list and menu.

Once we had chosen and ordered what to eat, we were shown to our table.

My fillet steak was one of the nicest, but largest, pieces of steak I've ever had the pleasure of eating! It took me about 40 minutes to eat my meal!

For probably the first time in my life; I was so full up I was convinced I could not eat another thing! My husband was very insistent I have a dessert. I assumed this was so he didn't feel greedy having one himself! He said "just have some sorbet or ice cream"... Well, if I'm going to be talked into having a dessert; and there's a chocolate one on the menu - that's what I'm having! So chocolate terrine was what I ended up ordering.

Before I go on, let me just fill in something. For the whole of 2013 my husband kept saying "we're going to get married next year..." I truly thought we would book it and get married with no proposal; no engagement ring. He'd booked for the Sunday 6th October, the day after the meal, to view a venue. We had just sorted that we were moving in together later that month.

When my dessert came out, the restaurant were playing Bruno Mars' I Think I Want To Marry You. When I saw the plate which had what was to be my engagement ring perched on top of the terrine; my response was "oh you chose to do it like this - really good idea!" Wiped the chocolate off the ring with the napkin, finished what I'd been previously saying, whilst putting the ring on my finger! Everyone around us was looking! He had tears and took my hand. He said "so will you marry me darling?" And I realised I hadn't answered! Obviously it was a big fat YES! The lady next to me looked at me in disbelief as I picked up my fork to begin eating; she said "you have to take a picture!" So I did! Thank you fellow diner - you were right - I'm so glad I took that photo! My now-husband later told me he'd slipped the ring to a member waiting staff as I walked over to the arm chairs. 

The waiting staff brought us glasses of champagne and I floated on Cloud 9 all weekend! 

On the way home, my then-fiancé told me he'd booked a restaurant we'd both wanted to try for a long time. He'd explained his plan and they had agreed to assist this to happen. Less than two weeks before the 5th October, they phoned him to say they'd double-booked our table and had to cancel his. He explained this was to be my birthday meal and (hopefully!!) the night we got engaged, and asked for them to re-consider. They refused. The Magic Mushroom was so accommodating to his requests and more than happy to make his dream come true! I loved it so much there; I took him for our 'engagement anniversary' on 5th October 2014 when we were newly-weds!

Before; with my fillet steak

The Proposal. Chocolate terrine

Champagne time!

5th October 2013; my shiny new solitaire from my fiancé