Somehow I waited until the Saturday morning to test.
My one main concern was what do I do in the event that I come on AF on a Saturday?? Can I still start my Clomid the following day?? Even though I'd need a scan booked before taking it, which I can't book over the weekend.
You see, I always avoid pregnancy tests. Everyone knows they're evil - far too negative for my liking! I wait until the latest possible time to do them. What has always happened in the past is I take the test once it's been over a certain amount of time (around 30 days on a medicated cycle as I've seen how developed the follicles are and can predict ovulation, 38-40 days on a non-medicated cycle because let's face it, ovulating unmedicated is like asking King Henry VIII to stay single!) then once I've had to take a test, I come on AF that day. Just to cement what the tests have said. This has been the norm for every month I've been forced to take a test - each month I've been 'late' (is there even such a thing as being late with PCOS??!)
I woke up the Saturday absolutely BUSTING to use the toilet whilst it was still pitch-black out on Saturday morning. I never sleep through the night without using the toilet once anyway. I usually last mostly until around 4-5am so that's not too bad, and it's normal for me.
I knew I needed to do a test as I'd still not come on, and it was cycle day 30 & 16-18 days after suspected ovulation (an ordinary cycle is considered around 14 days from Ovulation to AF) I HATE PREGNANCY TESTS!!
I checked the time upon waking, after going to bed around midnight Friday night... 2:18am WHAT?! I needed the toilet so badly I was in pain. I googled "how long to leave it until FMU (first morning urine)" and the general consensus was 4-6 hours.
I was seriously not able to even consider that... So I waited because I felt like I had to... In pain...
Then checked the time again when I just couldn't take it... 2:30am.
It was going to have to do, and if I got a negative (which is what I was expecting of course) I would just have to do another with Sunday's FMU to cement it if I didn't start to bleed later on Saturday.
I did the test, I turned around, put it on top of the toilet, turned back to pull my PJs up, glanced round and TWO HUGE DARK PINK LINES were staring up at me, daring me to believe it!! They say wait 5 mins but my goodness it had only been 20 seconds maximum!!
I was shaking more than you could ever imagine. I re-read the instructions - surely they've changed the design of the tests, that 2 lines must now mean Not Pregnant like I've always been before?!
I ran back to the bedroom and grabbed my mobile - I needed hard, physical photographic evidence of this to even begin to start believing it!
I went to get my husband. I woke him and said "I need you to come with me to do a test, I want you with me..." We held hands on the way to the bathroom. I pointed to the test on top of the lid - he then shouted "IT WORKED!! It worked?!" We hugged, both ecstatic. Nothing could touch us in that moment...
We excitedly sat and worked out our EDD (9th June 2017) then chatted and chatted and squealed and embraced.
At 4:30am his work alarm went off so he'd only had 2 hours sleep!
By the time I woke up around 8am, alone, I was convinced it was a dream. I sleepily rung him to check... To which he replied "go and look in the bathroom if you don't believe it - the evidence is there - I looked just before I came to work!"
That was the Saturday, two days before my birthday.
We had so many celebrations coming up and everyone seemed overly interested in the (clearly non-alcoholic) contents of my glasses!
From the day I got the positive result - I had cramping. The sore breasts continued until the Tuesday... Then I started to panic.
Most of my symptoms were waning/changing.
I spoke with my fertility nurse who assured me they will come and go so not to look too much into it.
As I'd had 4 follicles grown on Cycle Day 11 there was a chance of twins, triplets or quads depending on what had released, when & met the sperm... So she booked me an early scan for when I would be 6 and a half weeks...
My eternal happiness lasted approximately 24 hours from that test; then reality hit. If I lose this lil bean, where do we go from here?? Everyone knows how common miscarriages are, especially in the first pregnancy. But I can't lose this baby - it's not 5 weeks old it's bloody 22 months - I cannot do this all again!! I found myself waking through the night, not concentrating on work, just worrying at every waking and sleeping moment. The level of stress and worry I felt, I can't describe. The amount of love for this lil bean there are no words in any dictionary to tell the depth of it; I felt it so strongly already.
A week and 4 days after that delighted Saturday, I'd had one, maybe two, days reprieve from the period-type pelvic cramping.
It came back with vengeance that day...
I tried not to panic (failed miserably) and then that afternoon I encountered the dreaded spotting. Pink smears, then brown...
I phoned my mum & hubs and he met me at the local hospital.
6 hours of waiting later, a doctor internally examined me (I was terrified this would harm the baby but was assured it wouldn't so I have to trust...)
He saw a "tightly closed cervix" which is apparently really good news ...
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