Wedding details: Memories... To lost loved ones

I came up with the idea of having photographs of family members who are no longer with us. This meant they would be remembered and there on a day that represents love and togetherness.

It was an easy decision to come to, as during the wedding planning, my nan passed away in January after suffering for a long time with dementia. Then, another family member - my Nan's sister who we all call 'aunty' - passed away unexpectedly exactly 7 days later on my niece's first birthday.

What an awful month.

Both had been on our original guest list, although I was prepared my nan may not be well enough to make the journey. As my aunty's death was out of the blue, I could never bring myself to look at that list. I still haven't to this day. It didn't feel right crossing through her name,  'replacing' her with another guest. So I wrote the whole list out again from memory and invited two family members we previously didn't have room for.

This spurred me on to create a loose 'theme' of memories. I even have Memories tattooed on my wrist, which I've had for around 8 years now.

So, memories it is! 

A few people did get emotional when they saw their loved ones' pictures on our tables and I did hear conversations about the people who couldn't be there but were there in so many ways. A few people walked around to take a better look, and this struck up conversations. Our best man toasted "to lost loved ones" during his speech.

We created the centre pieces by scanning our chosen photographs, printing, then using photo frames from The Range shop.

We named the tables after our loved ones in the photos. This took a bit of thought and creativity - I kept coming up with ideas then going off the name and back to the drawing board!

A couple were easy and unwavering - my husband's dad was a keen golfer and we were having the photo of him on the top table. So Top Golf seemed like the obvious choice! As we had an odd amount of tables - we had one that had a mix of my husband's family and mine. So we called this one Dolly's Mixture as my dad's late mum was called Dorothy!

The other names didn't come as easily and I was constantly playing around with different ideas! My mum's late mum, whom we lost this year, was very talented at knitting - she made the bride and groom below so her table was My Knitting Nan. The others, my aunt who we also lost this January, was a dance star in her youth and ran a dancing school. So her table was Queen of Dance, my uncle's was Blue-Eyed Brian due to his piercing eyes in the vintage photo we found. Another of my uncles who, we assume, died in unknown circumstances, we used his name for this table.

My knitting nan created these

It was just a small way to show we think of those everyday, and they are there included in every aspect of our lives.

For, those no longer with us, will forever be in our hearts.

Table plan: photo frame and card from The Range

Table name: card from The Range. Stand borrowed from Leave It To Us Caterers

Wedding details: The Bouquet

Bridal Bouquet

I decided what I wanted almost as soon as I got the offer to have a bouquet.

We wanted to save as much money as we could - the aim was to not break the bank over one day.

So, not being very passionate about flowers, I wasn't too fussed about a bouquet. I always think flowers are very pretty, some smell delicious, but they die after a couple of weeks! We decided not to pay out for a bouquet of flowers.

I never did any research how much a florist charges, but having read online articles and real-life wedding experiences, I think they charge a lot. For something that's going to die soon and only be paraded around for one afternoon!

That was all decided until a friend asked me what I was doing for a bouquet. I replied with something along the lines of what I've written above. She said "ooo you've got to have a bouquet! Let me do you one as a gift!" It turns out, one of her family members is a florist! 

I immediately thought of my favourite flower - the gerbera. It's like a huge, colourful daisy and they come in such gorgeous, vibrant colours.

I chose orange because it's my favourite and it's very summery. 

According to eHow.co.uk "Brightly-coloured orange gerbera daisies represent feelings of warmth and creativity. Giving orange gerbera daisies to someone will convey a message of friendship and kindness. Because of the bold colour, orange gerbera daises also represent sunshine and happiness."

I also love roses as they're my dad's preferred choice of bloom. My friend suggested ivory roses as they would be classic against the bright gerberas. I also wanted one blue gerbera as my 'something blue' but it didn't look right.

According to origamidelight online 

"Ivory roses are the symbol of fidelity. Ivory roses are used to express the sincerity of ones love and a long lasting promise of commitment."

My friend also said we should have button holes. They came out large and couldn't fit in the lapel! So my husband wore his tucked into his pocket. 

My friend had intended an orange gerbera as the button hole but had some roses left over once the bouquet was made - so we had 2 of each!

My mum carried the orange gerbera and my mother in law attached hers to her dress. The ivory rose buttonhole went perfectly with the blue and ivory striped ties my groom and our best man had.

I'm glad I got to have such a beautiful bouquet.

Groom

Photo credit: Our future brother-in-law Steven

Dear Diary... Tourist Tuesday!

Dear Diary...

My husband and I have a few days off work together. I have wanted to see the ceramic poppies at the Tower of London for a while. We decided to head up to London on one of our days off. As we'd been up to Coventry (blog post Dear Diary... An extra hour well spent) on Sunday, we decided to have a chilled out day on Monday (Dear Diary... Monday Meze).

So, we went to London on Tuesday. What a brilliant day to choose to go... The sky was blue and the sun was shining. Who would have thought we would be eating lunch and dinner and drinking cocktails al fresco at the end of October in England?!

We don't live too far from London if we drive, as we live so close to the main road into London. We do try to avoid public transport usually as it's not easy to get anywhere from where we're living.

We were going to drive to my husband's mum's house and walk to her nearest station as it's more central.

My husband did a bit of research online and worked out a route for us to be able to travel from ours.

First stop: to see the poppies! It was soooo busy! They were a beautiful sight and it's very touching. 

888,246 poppies, each one represents one military death in World War One.

We then took a walk to St Katherine's Dock and had a really nice lunch outside in the sunshine near all the pretty boats

My delicious lunch

The husband's lunch

St. Katherine's Dock

To walk off our food, we went over Tower Bridge. We walked until we got to London Bridge station then we were on our way to the next part of our day... 

Tower Bridge

We visited the Natural History Museum at South Kensington, where we had fun reading all the facts and playing on the interactive games!

We made our way to where the lights are bright for dinner... Leicester Square!

Again, it was so busy everywhere - there were crowds and queues every way you turned.

We had dinner by candlelight

Cocktails

Halloumi Skewer

Taco starter

Mexican mains

Total tourists... Trip to M & M World

Happy Hallowe'en

M & M World

What an absolutely perfect, fun-filled day out with my built-in best friend AKA my husband. His iPhone informed us we'd done 17,162 steps (my poor feet!) all in my new Kurt Geiger boots! (Previous blog Rule of Shopping).

Space for one more?!

People who invite themselves, or others, to your wedding. Erm, if you're paying my love, feel free to rock up with your fascinator, swishy dress and a plus one I've never even been introduced to! You're not paying for my wedding? Wait for the invite and when it comes don't add random people on to it!

I see so many people on social media make comments like "congratulations on your engagement I'll get my hat now" or "congratulations, I'll be so-and-so's plus one" ermmmm. Wait. Who said we have enough places for so-and-so to have a plus one?!

It's not less annoying when so-and-so says "I'll bring a plus one" when you send the Save the Date stating just their name.

I know the 'rules of etiquette' are if someone is married, or has been with their partner (2 years or longer) then they should automatically get a plus one. If someone is single, has been single for a while, does not have anyone they're seeing and they have been in your family/friends for a while, they of course are invited but aren't really entitled to a plus one if numbers are tight.

Those of you planning, or have planned, a wedding will know exactly what I'm saying. For the benefit of those that have not, let me explain.

Most wedding venues like hotels and stately homes have packages for a certain amount of guests. If a couple wish to add extra, each extra person costs (usually quite a lot) more money per head.

The venue my husband and I chose was very strict with numbers, and there was under no circumstances to be any extra people on what we were permitted. It was written into the contract how they would be permitted to possibly vacate the premises if we had gone over the stated amount. We didn't want our wedding being cut short because of one or two people who couldn't respect the rule.

So, inviting a plus one without us saying we have space for you to have a plus one was just futile. It caused stress to myself and my husband (and most of us know, there is enough stress when planning a wedding!) and then you end up feeling disappointed when it wasn't us causing the disappointment, it was you!

To ensure this was clear to our guests, we wrote into our invites: Unfortunately, we must request the attendance of invitation-addressed guests only due to number regulations set by (the venue) and everyone did respect this request.

It is so hard to make sure everyone you want to be there is included, when you get told "you're allowed no more than 50 people" you think - 50 is loads! Then you start writing your list, blink, and 50 is gone just like that! *snaps fingers*

We chose to do it the fairest way - I got 24 guests, hubby got 24 guests then us 2 made the alloted 50. It worked well for us, rather than "well I've got more aunts and uncles..." "Well I have more cousins..." That would have been a painful (and probably unfair) way of organising it.

We were very lucky our families trusted and respected our decisions, and didn't try to get involved with the guest list.

We tried hard to please everyone and we are happy with how it turned out, I think everyone who came is too!

One wish: if we could have had 2 extra spaces my close friend and her partner should have been there at the ceremony but could only come to the evening. Being decent people, (hence why we're such good friends!) they understood the situation and were delighted to be a part of the big day. They came round to watch the wedding images DVD afterwards and were engrossed! They were genuinely so happy for us. She even helped me get out of my dress and shoes on the night of the wedding when I wanted to get changed!

Dear Diary... Monday Meze

The husband and I have had a few days off together and were determined to make the most of it!

We had tried a restaurant local to where we used to live with our parents a couple of times and both visits, the food had been amazing! On a Friday and Saturday evening, the waiting customers are spilling out the door as it's so busy!

We suggested my husband's mum and her partner came with us. They have recently returned from a holiday in Turkey and we thought they might appreciate the Turkish menu.

The place is called Shish Meze, Hornchurch RM11 3HS.

We chose to have the Family Special (for 4 people) which is Cold Mix Meze for starters, then a huge platter consisting of chicken wings, spicy lamb Adana, lamb & chicken Shish, lamb ribs and chops, two different types of rice and a seperate platter piled high with seasoned 'Shepherd's salad'.

The price is reasonable, too.

This was a winner all round!

Family Special main

Chocolate fudge cake

OOTD

Necklace: last season Forever 21

Cardigan: old. Next

Vest: again, old. H & M

Skirt: 2013 River Island

Boots: Kirt Geiger Carvela 'Stitch' (as featured in my post The Rule of Shopping

1. 
   

The Rule of Shopping

This happened to me last weekend! I tried on some boots that were in the sale in House of Fraser but we were in a rush and my husband said "I'm sure you have a similar pair" I strongly disagreed - I have black boots. Yes. Of course I own black boots. I own black hiiiigh heel shoe-boots for going out, black lace-up small chunky heel shoes boots with a fleece lining for winter and a pair of flat heel black Chelsea boots. But I distinctly did not own a pair of chunky black low heel ankle boots!

I felt they would be perfect for work AND going out. With jeans AND dresses. And even better, they were in the sale!

Anyway, I didn't buy them but I promised myself as I waved at them as I left the shop until I could no longer see them... That if I kept thinking about them I will get them! I was a little worried about this working out - they were in the sale and someone else might realise their worth and snap them up!

It wasn't until I was laying in bed that I really started to feel my life wouldn't be complete without said boots! (I am quite melo-dramatic, if I need to point it out!) I surreptitiously reached for my phone in the dark and Googled 'Kurt Geiger Carvela black boots sale'. My husband asked what I was doing and I explained the serious necessity of the situation. He knew when he was beaten! 

I scrolled down lots of different shoes & boots and with each unsuccessful row, I got more panicky! I finally found them http://www.kurtgeiger.com/stitch-black-nubuck-40-carvela-kurt-geiger-shoe.html 

They did not have my size! I knew then when I was beaten, so I left it to fate and went to bed.

We were going out to dinner the following day with friends, so we popped into House of Fraser and lo and behold there they were, waiting patiently  to come home with me! I said to my husband "should I or not?!" He said "I tried to talk you out of them yesterday, but you couldn't sleep last night for thinking about them - get them!"

I can't afford to buy brands such as Kurt Geiger without there being a sale, so this was obviously meant to be, just like the pointy blue shoes from the post 'The Girl in the Blue Shoes' which also had over 50% off the original price. Thank you Mr Geiger.

Now, they are where they belong!

Kurt Geiger Carvela 'Stitch' black boots - shopped at House of Fraser 

Shine Bright Like a (modest, affordable) Diamond!

I've just read an article written by someone who is very clearly rich, with a rich fiancé! It was all about the 4 C's of a diamond (Carat Weight, Cut, Colour, Clarity). 

Now, I am not a jeweller by profession, and neither is my husband, therefore I do not care personally about these features. Neither are we rich! Needless to say, most of the facts in the article floated right over my head - it was like a different language to me!

I remember meeting a friend of a friend a couple of years ago who had picked out her own engagement ring - exactly what she wanted - before he'd even discussed getting engaged! She had informed him if she wasn't given that exact one, she would say no if he dared propose. Sounds like a loving, healthy relationship to me! *did you sense the sarcasm?!*

When they did get engaged (with a similar ring, thank Goodness!) she then declared she was willing to wait years (and I mean 5+) to make sure the wedding day was of Katie Price and Cinderella proportions. She did not want things done by half. Fair enough, each to their own, but a marriage is surely more important than a wedding day?! I'm sure some people forget this.

I respect people who spend their own money on their choice of ring and their decisions to spend a lot of money if that is what they want to do. I just personally feel glad we did not do that. 

I have a few reasons for this. Number one - my husband sold his pride and joy modified one-off BMW 335i with custom Priory design body kit to pay off some old debts, to be able to move in together AND with what was left he bought me a surprise engagement ring!

He went into an independent jewellers in Hastings one day when he was away working and chose what he liked out of what he could afford. In my eyes, it was not cheap, but the grand scheme of what most spend on an engagement ring, it was not expensive either. It was simply what he liked and what he could afford.

It fitted perfectly! 

So that's reason number one to not spend a fortune on a ring - you don't have a fortune to spend in the first place!

Reason number two, I simply wouldn't feel safe walking around the streets with a massive, diamond-heavy expensive ring!

Number three, and probably the one I think about the most at present. I now can't wear my rings for more than a few hours a week. So people who go out and spend hours upon hours and hundreds upon hundreds (or even thousands!) could then go on to not even be able to wear their rings.

I have developed an eczema-type rash right on my wedding finger! I've tested for an allergy and it doesn't look like it's that. When you read up online the symptoms you wouldn't believe how common it is for married women to get 'wedding finger dermatitis' whether it be as a newlywed like myself, or after 5, 10, 20 years of marriage.

The biggest reason of them all... How much you spend on wedding and engagement rings is not a reflection of the success of a relationship! Nor is it a sign that you will last forever and ever as a couple cos your rings are better than the other girl's!

I am so glad we didn't break the bank, but that is my own personal experience and opinion! I am just here to give my thoughts, some will agree, others will not and it doesn't make either side right or wrong.

I forgot to mention, I adore my rings and I cry when I have to take them off when the rash reappears